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Ten quotes by Jim Gaffigan that will make you laugh

This quote makes me laugh because camping wasn’t even a tradition in my household. However‚ I feel like when I go camping its more like glamping. I stay in a cabin with air-conditioning‚ a television‚ a comfy bed‚ and a toilet to pee in. Most people wouldn’t consider that real camping.

I have had those moments when no matter what I do with myself I still feel like a hot mess. I almost say to my self “screw it. Lets stay home in pajamas all day‚ eat ice cream‚ and watch movies.”

I love Jim Gaffigan’s blatant honesty. Some days I know I am being lazy when I think I don’t want to make coffee in the morning. I mean I have to grind the beans‚ put it in the filter‚ and put the water in the machine. That is three whole steps to getting coffee. I am sure my ancestors are turning over in their grave saying we used to walk twenty miles to get coffee beans.

I hit the snooze button three times this morning. Every time I push it I would say I don’t need to make coffee this morning. Next time I hit snooze‚ “I don’t need to wash my hair. It looks fine. Its been two days.” The third time I hit the button I have to get up because its twenty minutes before I have to be out the door to work and I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

Sometimes I come home from the hospital at night and I totally do this. I am like screw it. Tv isn’t all that good for you anyways. I think I will go to sleep and get my ten hours in for the next day. who needs ten hours of a sleep? Apparently this girl because I am like a lion who can sleep for 16 hours.

You ever look at an old photo and think how did I ever think that was a good idea to wear out in public? Like the time I dressed up like Jenny from the block with my suede long jacket and JLo hat. lol

I tell myself this when I eat too much dark chocolate. I mean dark chocolate is good for you . Its like an antioxidant. After I have three candy bars.

This is funny to me because I still like getting letters. They are rare these days so when you do get one you are shocked for a quick minute.

I agree! Bacon sounds good with everything. Haven’t you have heard of bacon maple cookies? Delicious.

I had some guy tell me one time that the gas station had the best Bologna sandwich for  two dollars. All I could think of was how gross It was and that they sold it at the gas station for two dollars. That makes it even more sketchy.

What are some of your favorite comedians?

All the pictures are found on the internet.